Walking and weeing

I am walking 100kms in a couple of weeks to raise money for Oxfam and to also challenge myself. This is the fourth time I have walked the 100km event and I am looking forward to it being the last.

I could bore you for hours about the perils of blisters, leaches, dehydration or chafing, but I’m not going to.

Instead we are going to talk about a topic that many people don’t think of when walking for long hours, through dense bushland, with little access to civilisation and all we take for granted.

So you’re walking for over 30 hours, drinking heaps of fluid to stay hydrated and if you’re doing it right, then at some stage that fluid needs to leave your body.

If you are a man you can quite conveniently walk away from the group (please do walk away, far enough away to eliminate sound or vision) and have a wiz. Easy as anything. Undo a zipper and away you go.

Well for us women it’s not quite that simple.

Weeing in the bush requires the leg strength of an olympic gymnast, or the flexibility of a toddler.

It’s complicated

If you can’t squat, and I mean squat low, then you can expect a warm, slightly odorous trickle down your leg.

If you squat too low and you are busting then that power pee is going to saturate the shoes you need to wear for the next 12 hours.

Well ladies I have the solution for you.

Can I just quickly point out that a  few years ago while camping, I may have consumed far too many wines (that’s 3) and demonstrated (not literally, more of a simulation) using a funnel as a tool to enable women to pee standing up.  I was laughed at and ridiculed by the group. Well don’t they look silly now?

May I present, the Shewee-

the Shewee

This funnel (see my earlier idea) like contraption has now given women the option to pee standing up any where they like. I do hope that most women save it for times of necessity and don’t just start using it will nilly.

I don’t want to see any women taking their shewee to parties just to be able to pee on the lemon tree out the back.

I don’t want to go into the toilets in a nightclub and see a shewee appear out of a purse and  enable someone to use the basin just to avoid a cue.

Let’s keep it in the bush ladies. You know what I mean.

Here’s how it works-howtoshewee.jpg

Please note that in this picture I think the cartoon lady is still wearing her underpants. It would probably be a good idea to not wee though your underwear. It would render the shewee pointless really.

I have heard people using the shewee in boats, to go over the side and in in caravans to pee into a bucket at night. I personally like the caravan option after being traumatised as a 10 year old, when I fell into the pee bucket while camping. Let’s just say I wasn’t the first one to have used it that night.

So there you have it. Whether you wanted to know or not, you are now aware that there is a shewee and that women have peeing options.

Lisa X