The Triple Threat

The term “Triple Threat” is one that you would normally hear in entertainment circles.

To be a triple threat is to excel at the three main performance areas.

You can sing, dance and act/present!

This is rare and hence why being a triple threat is so impressive.

Well people, I’m here to let you know that today I became a triple threat!

o-LIZA-MINNELLI-CABARET
Just casually being a “Triple Threat”

I can not sing, I can dance drunk and I can act like a clown, but these are not the areas that my skills have been recognised.

Today I learnt that by making a life choice and not really trying, can qualify you as something really special in some industries.

I was told by a complete stranger how incredibly special I was and I didn’t even try.

She didn’t even use the words triple threat, or special, but I could tell from her body and face language.

You know that face where someone is completely overcome with disbelief that they just can’t hide the shock on their face?

That face where their head tilts to the side and they make a kind of scrunched up face. It may look like confusion or pity, but I prefer to think of it as someone being in awe. In awe of what they have just witnessed.

I would just like to clear one thing up as I build the drama here……. today’s event did not include any accidental nudity. If you’ve read previous posts you will know by now that sometimes I don’t fully understand directions and I end up taking off too many clothes. This is more likely to happen at a doctor or laser hair removal clinic, but osteos and physios are not safe either.

By now you are just dying to know where was I when my triple threat talent was discovered!

Back story…………(this information will add context)

About 10 years ago I had laser eye surgery. I wore glasses for distance. I was told at the time that there was the possibility that within 10 -12 years my eye sight may decline and I could need glasses again.

Well doesn’t time fly? It’s been just over 10 years and my eyes were getting a bit irritated and I had a few headaches. I tried some eye drops but they were not working. I had put the changes in vision down to too much screen time and looking at my smaller phone screen more on the train.

Well, no. They were not the reasons. Of course, they can help to make the symptoms worse but they were not causing the issue.

As I sat opposite the optometrist and we discussed my eye sight history, she said;

“I will have a look and see what is happening but unless you’ve had laser eye surgery, are on hormone tablets or are peri-menopausal, then I don’t think there will be an issue.”

Hold up, what?

I have, I am and I am!

I am the laser eyed, hormone controlled, menopausal patient you have been dreaming of!

I am your optometry triple threat.

This is the part where her face was overcome with the shadow of disbelief.

I’m pretty sure she is telling her co-workers about me right now. I am like the urban myth that optometrists will be talking about at their conferences. They will all be wearing novelty glasses, coloured cat-eye contact lenses and chatting about the triple threat.

She even asked for clarification of the hormone tablet I was on just to know I was legit. She didn’t want to make the big announcement in the staffroom and then find out I wasn’t real.

My appointment then continued to find that my right eye is lazy, I bloody knew it, she’s always letting the team down, my left eye is over compensating (now it’s sounding like a bad marriage) and I am lacking moisture in my eyes.

Thanks to those blasted hormones there are a few places on my body that are lacking moisture………

I am now awaiting my 2 pairs for $199 glasses that Alex Perry has so graciously designed for me. I will wear them up on head in thanks.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I am putting a really positive spin on the gradual advancement of the aging process.

I had also had a physio appointment this morning (stayed clothed) and was told that the niggling shoulder pain I’ve been experiencing is most likely due to the gradual rounding of my shoulders. I need to work on my posture and my shoulder placement. I now have to actively concentrate on how my shoulders are positioned. It’s too much.

My body is rounding, hunching, my shoulders are forgetting where to sit, I’m lacking moisture (it hits multiple areas, you’ve been warned), grey hairs are here to stay as they are immune to the powerful laser beam and my hormones are unstable.  Aren’t I a treat?

No! I’m a triple threat and don’t you forget it.

triple threat picture
Off out to lunch with the girls

But I figure, fuck it. I will take my hunching hormonal self to Pilates, I will laugh with my friends, I will dance when and where I feel like it, I will enjoy special moments with family and I will purchase every synthetic lubricant known to woman.

Live your best life.

Lisa XX

 

 

Liza – http://doloresdelargotowers.blogspot.com/2014/03/with-z.html

Old lady -http://bandaidsblog.blogspot.com/2009_11_22_archive.html

 

 

 

 

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