I think I have “Parental Emotional Exhaustion (P.E.E.)”.
Might need to re- think the acronym……
Anyway, it’s a condition I believe I have had for a while and the last few weeks have convinced me.
I have witnessed so many milestones and received so much good news recently that I am unsure how to process it all. I respond at the correct time and share the excitement but I always feel like I need some alone time later to fully process all that I have heard.
My dilemma is…….
As a parent I am so proud of all milestones my kids reach. I’m just as proud when I hear they have nice manners and are kind as I am when they achieve the “big things”, but I’m struggling with how to react to each new announcement.
I feel as is I’m failing to covey just how immensely proud and absolutely in awe of them I am. My heart is so full it could burst and as they are speaking to me my mind keeps recalling moments that I knew would lead here.
That look of steely determination from a 5 year old learning to master a new dance move or the magazine obsession of a 13 year old who told me she was doing research flash through my mind. These moments were the building blocks to what I see before me today and I can’t comprehend at times how blessed I am to have been a part of it.
I try to give a response that let’s the girls know I hear them, I’m proud of them and I will be there for the ride with them. But in my head I’m wondering am I making the right face, am I excited enough, should I high five them or is a hug more appropriate?
I know that running at someone and chest bumping them is not seen as congratulatory. I see all mistakes I’ve made in the past as an opportunity to learn.
I’m self editing my emotional responses. But why?
I believe my P.E.E. (really need to workshop that) is being exacerbated by a number of other factors. These conditions are forcing me to edit my natural responses to good news and times of celebration.
I try not to cry too much. I have U.C.S. (Ugly Criers Syndrome). If this is a situation that leads to a photo opportunity I don’t want to be red and blotchy. I’m working on having that one perfect tear that falls perfectly down my cheek. #cryinggoals
If I’m having a bout of N.S.B (No Sports Bra) there will be no jumping. The possibility of causing concussion to myself or someone close is too big a risk. No-one needs to see that.
I do also suffer from V.A.U. It’s a condition when your first question upon hearing about a trip is to ask about vaccinations and underwear. It’s manageable but I don’t know if I’ll ever be cured.
I know there are times when the girls wished I’d edited my responses more and rightly so, I probably should’ve, but I will now make more of an effort to edit myself less. (That statement has just scared the life out of my family.)
I will go with my first instinct when I hear amazing news and I will cry, scream and jump with joy more.
If you happen to see me red faced, blotchy eyed, boobs-a-swinging and talking about the “underwear to day of trip ratio” (see **), then you will know I’ve had some great news.
** the underwear ratio in it’s worse case scenario mathematical form –
U=X x (2c + 3s + 5d)
U=underwear needed for trip, X=days of trip, C=change of clothes in a day, S=change due to excessive sweating and D=spontaneous diarreah.